Sunday, June 24, 2012

A Response to A Post on Fitting

I'm fuming a little after reading this post over at MsBehaved.  Bianca makes a valid point about bra fitting: when all is said and done, only YOU know what is right for your boobs and body to get proper support from bras.  It sounds like her fitter at Nordstrom's did not listen to her feedback about wanting a looser band, especially given that a 40 inch underband is not asking too much and they could easily have fit her into a (probably more comfortable) 40G.  I think it an absolute shame she had to go through this experience, and I hope that it hasn't turned her off from finding a proper fitting bra.

However, my bone to pick is her attitude toward larger cup sizes and fitting in general.  Most women do wear the wrong bra size, but they don't do it knowingly.  I'd love it if all women knew their correct bra size, and then used that as a starting place to find the right bras for them.  I was also appalled at the attitude toward the so-called mythic cup sizes (i.e. F-cup or larger) in both her post and in the comments.  H-cups are not freaking unicorns.  I do not have a pair of centaurs strapped to my chest.

I do believe that finding a proper fitting bra absolutely changes your life.  However, the one your fitter hands you in the changing room at a big box store may not be it.  In fact, it is likely to not be "the one."  If it is, great.  Go ride off on a horse with your fairy bra charming into a vivid sunset, knowing your breasts aren't going to jiggle too much or fall out when that horse rears dramatically.  If the bra is not "the one", be a (polite) dick. You are their customer.  Find the right bra for you - try on lots and lots of bras, apply swing sizing, and remember not all brands are made the same.  You might leave empty-handed and that is okay.

My other big bone to pick has to do with Bianca's claim of vanity sizing in the bra industry.  Fabrics used in bras and bust support systems have changed dramatically since clothing sizing was standardized during WW2.  (Fun Fact: the modern short brassiere was developed in the early 1920s.)  Fabrics used in bras today are significantly stretchier than fabrics used during the 40s and 50s.  Adding inches to an underbust measurement made sense back then because most people like breathing.  The added inches gave women literal breathing room in a garment that did not stretch.  Today, bras are made with fabrics that have lots of natural give.  Sizing has consequently changed, and is different from manufacturer to manufacturer.  Adding inches to the underbust measurement is often unnecessary, and may dramatically reduce the support you should receive from the band.

As I stated at the beginning of this post, only you know what is right for your body.  I do believe that fittings change lives, but I also believe they shouldn't dictate them.  I wish the statement that "most women wear the wrong size" was all bullshit.  Blogs like this wouldn't exist.  My so-called unicorn boobs would actually get recognized as actual unicorn boobs.  Maybe they'd grow horns... hmmm...  Large cup small band bras wouldn't cost so much and "be a scam" if there was more demand and a competitive marketplace.  Where might this come from? Oh, maybe from more women learning their real bra size and not wussing out because current culture tells them that having a smaller band size and larger cup size is a bad, slutty, fat shaming, and impossible thing.

Embrace what you got, ladies.  Get fitted by someone who knows their shit.  Trust your instincts, and realize that finding "the one" will probably take time and money.  Then you will hopefully get your own glorious sunset horse ride moment, and be able to not worry about your breasts falling out when the horse rears in the sunset.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

I'm Getting Married

So, in 7 weeks I marry the love of my life.

I think I laughed a little when I typed that out.  I love my Bear, and he is the love of my life, but gosh that sounds so cheesy.  Bear is fantastic and wonderful and amazing.  We have a meeting with our minister on Tuesday to figure out the ceremony and I'm supposed to come up with 3 reasons why I love him. This has been the hardest assignment I've ever had.  Even harder than finding a wedding dress and then the accompanying lingerie.  Thankfully (maybe?) Bear is struggling with the assignment too.  We both love each other, but not for any specific, sappy reasons.  He doesn't run for the hills when I give off noxious gas.  I think his love for electronics and tinkering is freaking awesome.  We both laugh at obnoxiously immature jokes, and we both share a deep passion for inexpensive but excellent red wines.  We also both love Doctor Who and Game of Thrones.  We don't get sick of each other during multi-day car trips.  We also both adore cats and children.  Hmmm... maybe I have more fodder for our ceremony than I thought.

In planning a large family wedding, there was of course a dress to buy.  I'm planning on writing a series about how 1. I found my wedding dress, 2. the experience of trying on wedding dresses with  larger bust, 3. how I freaked the fuck out once I realized I ordered a cut-out back dress that required a bra that is not manufactured in my size, 4. how I frankensteined a bustier to meet my needs, 5. my fitting and seamstress experience (my current saga), and finally 6. thoughts and reflections on other people's reactions and perceptions of my wedding dress/bridal ensemble on me after my wedding is over and I've got some professional shots to share.  It seems this kind of series would fill a giant hole in the internet.  So, my dear, invisible internet friends, keep an eye out for that in the coming 2 months.

Also, I'm planning on writing a loving and caring entry in the near future extolling the virtues of Trashy Diva dresses.  I've gotten three in as many months and want more.